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UnMarioWiki:Other Stuff/Mario's Adventure 007/Game
The T-2504, disguised as James Bond holding a suitcase, walks inside the MI6 Headquarters. RECEPTIONIST: Hi. Nice to meet you. T-2504: T-2504. Secret agent. He then teleports into the office where secret cases are begun. The T-2504 places the suitcase and opens it, revealing a operation folder with a "SECRET" stamp on it. T-2504: Sir, I am going to be on an operation. Dr. Robotnik and Stocking Anarchy will be meeting at his lair tomorrow. Suddenly, the receptionist swipes his hand across his face, removing it and revealing it to be a mask. His true face is that of Evil Guy, who turns out to be dressed in his EvilGuy 008 garb. EVIL GUY: Excellent! I've been waiting for you. T-2504: Exactly. Dr. Robotnik will be killing off the T-5001 in just 2 days. Recently, Stocking Anarchy has snapped and killed her sister, Panty Anarchy. Now that she will be going to his lair tomorrow, I must kill off both of them. Just then, Deathstroke pops out of nowhere. DEATHSTROKE: Die! Deathstroke pounces onto the T-2504, missing and hitting the wall instead. EVIL GUY: Don't worry. I came prepared. Evil Guy pulls out Squadala Man's turban and puts it on his head. He then uses his newfound magic powers to teleport Deathstroke into space, where he regenerates and disintegrates and regenerates for eternity. EVIL GUY: OK, anyway...you said he was going to kill the T-5001? But...isn't he an Undefeatable? T-2504: He's gonna kill him off for real. Like destroy him entirely, so he doesn't come back, in which Dr. Robotnik's superweapon will do. I'm going to start the black op now. Meanwhile at the entrance of Dr. Robotnik's lair, Stocking Anarchy knocks on the door. STOCKING ANARCHY: All right, you ████s! I'm gonna ████ing kill you! Evil Guy waves a single hand, causing Stocking Anarchy to re-appear in space. There, she smacks into Deathstroke's teleportation device, which is on his waist, and is teleported back to the outside of the fortress. STOCKING ANARCHY: What...was that... Stocking, feeling sick, vomits in front of Dr. Robotnik's "Welcome" mat (because, yes, his impenetrable fortress of doom has one of those). Meanwhile, Evil Guy is still trying to rationalize the plot in process. EVIL GUY: But...I don't understand! One of the main UnLaws of UnNature is that Undefeatables cannot be killed! (Pausing) Well, with the exception of Godzilla...and Mr. Rogers...but at least they're part of the Lower Counsel! The T-5001 is...is... DR. ROBOTNIK: Undefeatable! Evil Guy yelps in surprise as he wheels around and looks through the window behind him. There, Dr. Robotnik is floating in his Egg-O-Matic. DR. ROBOTNIK: Don't be so surprised. I've got a cloaking device in this magnificent machine! EVIL GUY: Well...um. DR. ROBOTNIK: But you shouldn't have come unannounced! I'm glad to see your interest in my scheme, Evil Guy! But who's that other fellow with you? EVIL GUY: (Whispering to the T-2504) Play along. Pretend you're some evil villain. The T-2504 transforms into Stocking Anarchy to blend in. Unfortunately, things are not going well because he doesn't know how to act the way Stocking Anarchy did. "STOCKING ANARCHY": Hey...umm.....I... "Stocking Anarchy" starts sweating repeatedly. "STOCKING ANARCHY": ...just like how you planned to kill off the T-5001. He's tied the ████ up over there. DR. ROBOTNIK: Wow, really? How did you manage that?! I've got to see this for myself. Dr. Robotnik parks the Egg-O-Matic out front as Evil Guy conjures a T-5001 decoy with ropes around it. EVIL GUY: Phew, that was a close one! Now, all we have to do is keep him from figuring out that you're not the real... DR. ROBOTNIK: (From outside) STOCKING ANARCHY!!! STOCKING ANARCHY: Oh my God, I'm ████ing sorry! I got teleported into space, came back down, and had to throw up next to your goddamn "Welcome" mat! DR. ROBOTNIK: (Rolling his eyes) Oh, right. A likely story. First of all, how did you get out here so fast? STOCKING ANARCHY: ...What? DR. ROBOTNIK: You heard me. I just saw you inside...there... Dr. Robotnik face-palms as Stocking Anarchy's eyes widen. The two of them simultaneously fling open the door to the fortress. EVIL GUY: Oh, no...they're coming! We've got to stay undercover so we can figure out the secret to Dr. Robotnik's super-weapon! Evil Guy uses his magic to lift the T-5001 decoy off the ground and levitate it to the bottom of the stairs. DR. ROBOTNIK: What the...? The T-5001 is moving around? Who's responsible for this?! EVIL GUY: Quick, hide. I'll handle this. And make sure to monitor their conversation in case I get thrown out. Evil Guy waddles down the stairs as Stocking Anarchy whips out two swords and slices the T-5001 decoy apart. DR. ROBOTNIK: You! ''You'll be lucky to keep your head on your shoulders if you can explain this to me! EVIL GUY: Sorry, Your...Yolk-ness. I weakened him severely and managed to knock him out, but apparently, he regained consciousness just as you walked in! DR. ROBOTNIK: I see. I suppose that was a job well done, weakening him enough for Stocking here to finish him off. Still, ''she was the one who did it and not you--and you very well could have! Get out of my fortress, now. EVIL GUY: Very well, Your Yelling-ness. DR. ROBOTNIK: And another thing! My minions make better puns than you do. Now, get out. Dr. Robotnik pushes Evil Guy out the door and slams it behind him. "STOCKING ANARCHY": (Thinking) Oh ████, now it's up to me now. (Speaking) Anyway, I would like to join forces with you. DR. ROBOTNIK: Wait, but you're Stocking Anarchy! How are there two of you?! The T-2504 freezes time using his own mind. He then picks up Stocking Anarchy and puts her in the sewers. He then teleports back to exactly where he was. He thaws time and from Dr. Robotnik's point of view, the real Stocking Anarchy has disappeared. DR. ROBOTNIK: Never...never mind. I must have been seeing double. Anyhow, let's get to work. Dr. Robotnik pulls out a blueprint for a massive space station, titled P.I.N.G.A.S. DR. ROBOTNIK: This is the blueprint for my latest ultimate super-weapon: the Pulverizer of Immortals and Neutralizer of Gods, Animals, and Space. It is specifically designed to kill anything remotely resembling a god; anything from an Undefeatable to that pesky hedgehog will be pulverized on the spot...especially since that blue brat has somehow affiliated himself with that Counsel of Snobs. Bah! If you ask me, all this "Undefeatable" nonsense just screams "personal cult". Who do they think they are?! "STOCKING ANARCHY": They're dumb ████████ who think they are powerful and high-ranked. We'll prove them wrong. DR. ROBOTNIK: Indeed! Now, all I need is a suitable power source. I was thinking of using the Chaos Emeralds, but they won't do. How about the Super Emeralds, since they're made of possible former Undefeatables? Can you find me those? "STOCKING ANARCHY": Hard to find, but I'll consider. "Stocking Anarchy" lifts Dr. Robotnik's toolbox around using just his mind. "STOCKING ANARCHY": What the ████ was that?! Be right back. "Stocking Anarchy" karate punches everywhere, missing everything. DR. ROBOTNIK: What's going on? Are there ghosts in here?! Because, I assure you, if there are ghosts... Meanwhile, outside the fortress, the real Stocking Anarchy has crawled out of the sewers and found Evil Guy. EVIL GUY: Hey, who are you? STOCKING ANARCHY: Me? Your worst ████ing nightmare. Stocking Anarchy slashes at Evil Guy with one of her two swords, which Evil Guy stops in mid-air with his magic and yanks out of her hand. Then, Stocking stabs at Evil Guy's head with her other sword, only striking the turban. EVIL GUY: Hey! That was the source of my magic! Now you've ruined it! STOCKING ANARCHY: Good. It was a ████ed-up fashion statement anyway. EVIL GUY: How dare you?! Evil Guy slashes downward with his new sword, but Stocking manages to parry his attack. She then feints several times, catching Evil Guy off guard, and slashes at his belly. Just then, Evil Guy slips and falls. EVIL GUY: Ow! Well, that was a lucky break. STOCKING ANARCHY: And that's not all you'll break when I'm done with you. I'm gonna ████ you up! Evil Guy rolls over as Stocking stabs downward, standing up behind her and regaining his balance. Then, just as he stabs at her head, she ducks and swings her sword around at just above knee-level, hitting Evil Guy's thigh. EVIL GUY: Ahhh! No fair! STOCKING ANARCHY: Don't lecture me about "fair" when you've stolen my own sword. You've ████ed up, and you can't help it. EVIL GUY: Oh, can't I? STOCKING ANARCHY: No, actually, you can't. I'm a world-renowned heroine and ghost hunter! EVIL GUY: Is that right? Well, I'm a world-renowned villain and...and... Stocking whacks Evil Guy's head with the hilt of her sword, knocking him to the ground. STOCKING ANARCHY: Cripple. EVIL GUY: Wow. And you're supposed to be a heroine? STOCKING ANARCHY: Well, I'm not killing you, am I? Now stay here and ████████████ for all I care. I have some business to finish at a certain fortress right about now. Stocking walks away as Evil Guy reaches for the remains of Squadala Man's turban. EVIL GUY: Hey, maybe I can use this to bandage my leg! Evil Guy bandages his leg, which heals in two seconds flat. EVIL GUY: Oh, she is so ''gonna regret leaving me alive. Back in the fortress, "Stocking Anarchy" still is karate-punching and missing, until she hears a door creak. She immediately drops the toolbox and transforms instantly into air, just as Stocking Anarchy barrels in. STOCKING ANARCHY: All right, you...! DR. ROBOTNIK: Stocking? Is this one of your ghost-hunting tricks? Suddenly, Evil Guy barges into the fortress as well. EVIL GUY: Stop right there! DR. ROBOTNIK: What's going on?! STOCKING ANARCHY: How are you here?! EVIL GUY: Everybody, ''slow down. Dr. Robotnik, you may be confused as to why Stocking keeps disappearing and re-appearing, yes? DR. ROBOTNIK: Well, yes, but that doesn't justify... EVIL GUY: And Stocking, you sliced through that T-5001 decoy earlier with the greatest of ease, correct? STOCKING ANARCHY: Of course! Actually, it's almost like it was... EVIL GUY: A decoy. DR. ROBOTNIK: What?! EVIL GUY: That T-5001 decoy from before was just bait for you and me, Your Roundness... DR. ROBOTNIK: That was actually a better name for me than last time. Well done. EVIL GUY: ...And the real T-5001 is standing right here--''disguised as Stocking Anarchy''. STOCKING ANARCHY: What the ████?! DR. ROBOTNIK: Impossible! How would you even be able to tell? EVIL GUY: My spy equipment picked it up. The T-5001 was trying to jam my sensors earlier, but couldn't. Now, the truth has been revealed. STOCKING ANARCHY: This is bull████! EVIL GUY: And yet the proof is in the pudding. DR. ROBOTNIK: Mmm, pudding! I could go for some pudding right... EVIL GUY: Sir, focus! This "Stocking Anarchy" copied the appearance of the real Stocking Anarchy, vomited in front of your fortress to get your attention, and snuck inside to look at your plans...and sabotage them! DR. ROBOTNIK: That explains the other Stocking Anarchy I saw ealier! When she disappeared, it must have been the T-5001 teleporting away! EVIL GUY: Right! And here she is once again. STOCKING ANARCHY: He's just making ████ up! Don't listen to him! DR. ROBOTNIK: Well, then, I'll just call in the real Stocking and see what I can do. Where has she gone, anyway? T-2504: (Thinking) This is gonna go well... DR. ROBOTNIK: Stocking Anarchy! Front and center! Now! T-2504: (Thinking) No, no, no, no, no! DR. ROBOTNIK: I swear, these minions...they run me ragged sometimes! EVIL GUY: Sir, I think we should focus on the threat at hand. STOCKING ANARCHY: I'm no threat, Dr. Robotnik! Believe me! EVIL GUY: That's exactly what a threat would say. T-2504: (Thinking) Come on! STOCKING ANARCHY: Well, if I'm the threat, then how do you explain... Evil Guy stabs Stocking Anarchy in the sternum, causing her to disintegrate into wisps of smoke. DR. ROBOTNIK: Hah?! EVIL GUY: Hmm. Looks like, uh, I got the T-5001 mid-teleport. He won't be coming back for a while. DR. ROBOTNIK: Excellent work, my friend! Glad to see you've circumvented the T-5001's famous respawning technique. Now, I believe it's time for me to build this giant fortress! EVIL GUY: You haven't built it yet? DR. ROBOTNIK: No, no. I'm just starting with the actual super-weapon, seen here. Dr. Robotnik unrolls the blueprints and points to a single laser cannon sticking out of the P.I.N.G.A.S. EVIL GUY: The...SPEW? DR. ROBOTNIK: Correct! The P.I.N.G.A.S.' main weapon, the Super PEW, is designed to shoot a massive PEW-PEW LASER BEAM capable of destroying even an Undefeatable. Granted, it will be practically unusable without the P.I.N.G.A.S.' state-of-the-art Geometric Analysis Ytterbium radar, or GAYdar... Dr. Robotnik points to another part of the blueprints as Evil Guy frowns quizzically. DR. ROBOTNIK: ...But time is running low, as is my budget, so I've had to work with what I've got. For now, I've just gotten the SPEW up and running. Here we go! Dr. Robotnik whips out a remote control with a single red button and presses it. The earth begins to shake as the ground outside splits apart. A massive cannon rises out of the resulting chasm, reaching all the way to the clouds and leaning like the Tower of Pisa. EVIL GUY: ...Oh. Look at that. DR. ROBOTNIK: Are you not impressed? Just wait 'til you see what it can do! EVIL GUY: And when will that be, exactly? DR. ROBOTNIK: When you find me my blasted power source, of course! Then, I shall insert it into the cannon and fire the one perfect shot that could possibly do any damage to the Undefeatables. EVIL GUY: How so? DR. ROBOTNIK: I've aimed it...directly at the Undefeatables' Palace. Then, the T-2504 teleports in the sewers, transforms into Stocking Anarchy, swims in sewer water and then teleports to Dr. Robotnik's lair. Now we call her "Stocking Anarchy". She knocks on the door. "STOCKING ANARCHY": I'm the real-███ Stocking Anarchy! DR. ROBOTNIK: Oh, you're finally here. Dispatched those ghosts, I presume? "STOCKING ANARCHY": Yes! DR. ROBOTNIK: Wonderful. Now, it is time to prepare for our expedition. We're going to find the Super Emeralds! Dr. Robotnik walks downstairs and starts up his Egg-O-Matic. EVIL GUY: OK, here's the plan. Shape-shift into a Super Emerald when we get there so you can later sabotage the SPEW from inside. "Stocking Anarchy" freezes time with her mind, spews out an unconscious body of Stocking Anarchy, and transforms into a plastic Super Emerald that looks just like the real thing but doesn't function. She then thaws time. DR. ROBOTNIK: Wait, what? Why is Stocking unconscious? EVIL GUY: I dunno...overworked? Just leave her there. DR. ROBOTNIK: Fine. From now on, I won't trust either Stocking Anarchy, real or fake. EVIL GUY: Are you sure? Look, she brought you a Super Emerald just now! DR. ROBOTNIK: She had that the entire time?! Well, no matter. I'm going to go put this into the SPEW.